Day 14 – Stats Fantasy Football and My Birthday

Dave was a total fantasy football nerd.  He LOVED it.  Everything about it – spending hours reading up on players, talking crap with the boys, watching hours of games each weekend.  He was in his league for over 20 years, I think.  Some of the names and faces changed, but many of them are the same.  

Some years ago, someone (likely Dave) came up with the idea to hold a “live” draft.  I think it is just an excuse to get everyone together from all over the country, drink beer, and talk football without any pesky wives or families around.  They have been to Chicago, Vegas, Savannah, the lake house in SC.  One year for whatever reason (I am sure it seemed important at the time), I told Dave that I didn’t want him to go.  After he spent 5-6 hours on speaker phone drafting his team, I confessed to the error of my thinking and declared that he could go wherever and whenever the draft was held from that point on.

Draft talk began in late winter/early spring this year.  The destination is Chicago.  The only weekend that worked for most was this one.  Since the draft weekend tends to fall on or around my birthday, I did give Dave a little ribbing about it.  (I consider myself to be pretty low maintenance when it comes to birthdays.   No big demands, no fancy gifts or trips.  Maybe Dave would have said otherwise, but I don’t think so.)  Anyway, he decided that he wouldn’t fly out until Saturday so that we could spend my birthday together.  I think we both realized that this could be one of the last ones we would spend together not knowing he wouldn’t even live that long.  

So, as far as birthday wishes, I wish he could have made his trip to Chicago, and I wish we could have had a nice dinner out tonight together.  But since neither of those things is possible, I hope that people will continue to contribute to his fund and spread the word to others.  $5, $10, $20 all amounts are appreciated and will let him continue to live on through our young people.  Thank you for helping to make it happen.  It really does mean everything in the world to me.



Day 13 – You 2.0



Whose mom thought sending the volcano into school in a shopping bag

featuring a half naked man was a good idea?!  Oops!

I checked in on our fundraising page this morning and was excited to see that we are off to a great start. I appreciate more than words can express people clicking, reading and donating if possible. Each dollar helps us move towards our goals. I wish I could think of something clever like the ice bucket challenge, but I’m not that smart or creative. I will tell you that every dollar you donate will go directly back to helping out kids. And each dollar helps Dave’s great work and spirit live on.

I hope that this former student of Dave’s doesn’t mind me quoting the comment he left on the page.

“I was in Mr. Tremaine’s ’97-’98 7th grade science class at Luther Jackson M.S. Such an energetic and positive human being. I will always have fond memories of practicing my golf swing in class. When my kids and grandkids ask me who my favorite teacher was, the answer will be easy.”

This is truly priceless. Thank you, Adam, for your incredibly generous donation and for sharing your memories of Dave. Your words made me grin from ear to ear and also maybe fight back a tear or two as well.


Day 12 – You.


I have mentioned many times over how very lucky we are to have the incredible support of family, friends and even an online community of people we haven’t met in person.  The support has come to us in the form of emails, texts, calls, lunch dates, dinner dates.  We have been dining out on the generosity of your gift cards for months now and, in fact, still are.  You have sent us money to use for whatever we might need during this time.  It has been humbling.  We are so very grateful.

With all this in mind, I do not take asking for monetary donations lightly.  Dave’s family (his parents, sister and brother and their families) and the kids and I have created a site in response to friends and family asking “Can I make a donation somewhere in honor of Dave?”  (Technically, all credit to creating the page goes to Kris!)  We hope to raise money in order to contribute to two places that both honor Dave and were so near to his heart.

We would like to establish a scholarship at Hayfield for a graduating senior.  This is something that I hope the kids and I will be able to continue on a yearly basis.  Because this would mean that at least one time a year, the graduating seniors would get to hear about this incredibly tall, spirited man who was proud to be a hawk and found the good in all of his students.

We would like to make a one time donation to Hayfield, to the drama department in particular.  Dave loved to attend ALL events but how many school principals actually take part in their school’s plays?  He LOVED it.  He loved the energy of the students and the thrill of being able to act, if even for a few moments.

Finally, we would like to be able to make a donation to a foundation that will bear his name.  Dave grew up playing tennis for Bob Pass.  Over the years, their coach/player relationship became a long lasting friendship.  Dave coached for Bob after his tennis playing days were over.  In recent years, they worked together to create a foundation that supports youth tennis.  Bob has decided (with our enthusiastic approval) to rename his foundation to include Dave’s name.

Please check out our page and make a donation if you are so inclined.  Any amount is greatly appreciated as we work towards our goals.  Thank you so much.



Day 11 – DMV and My Dad

Yep, you read that right, folks.  I am grateful to the DMV.  In particular the Westfields location.  I needed to transfer titles on a few of the cars and get new license plates, and the lady who helped me was so pleasant and efficient.  In fact, she was even kind and reassuring when I continued to fill out the wrong lines or not fill out the correct ones.  All in all, not a bad experience at all.

I am also grateful for my dad who is running around getting the same cars inspected.  It is the task that I dread each summer.  Luckily for me, I have a dad who is willing to take care of it for me.  He is also taking Sam to Costco to load up on necessities for school.  I am so very appreciative.



PS Although I could have done without the “Virginia is for Lovers” at the bottom of the new plates….


Day 10 – Procrastination

Two out of three payroll/retirement related checks that were sent to us have been returned.  It seems that after issuing the checks, the different departments realized that we were not, in fact, entitled to those funds.  So, they sent us letters requesting the money be repaid.  I am glad that I procrastinated and did not deposit these checks.  I am thankful that I did not think that we had an extra almost $9K.  If I had deposited them and used the funds then I would have had to still come up with the money immediately.  Instead, I was able to just return the checks that were issued.  Both issues have been/are being resolved, and I know it will all work out in the end.  Sometimes it is okay to procrastinate!





PS Sam and I spent quite a bit of time today talking about Dave, in particular the last time she saw him.  Yet, it still took me until about 8:00PM this evening to realize that it was Monday and that another week had gone by.  I consider this some sort of progress.

Day 8 – 2 Months

Well, I made it through my first major milestone without him. It was sad, but I did it. I shared funny memories with the kids – How hungover he was that entire day before the wedding.  How he loved to tell the story of going to get traveler’s checks in his rather pukey state. How I met Jeff, the little brother he admired and adored, for the first time at the alter during the rehearsal. How it rained the day of our wedding, but we didn’t care. How my dress got stuck in the door as I entered the church so I was laughing as I walked down the aisle.  How our students attended, and how they collectively gasped when we kissed.  How much FUN it was. 

What I realize is that I’d rather be a little melancholy in my memories than to never have lived it at all.

Today marks two months since we were together. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time.