It’s Where I Live

ImageI pretty much tell everyone that will listen that I am not in denial.  I have read the percentages.  I know the odds are not in our favor.  I get how this all could go down.  But accepting those numbers seems like giving in.  I believe wholeheartedly that Dave will be one of the 10% or 20% or whatever number you want to throw out there.  There is no way he is not going to come out of this just fine.  So is this denial?  Blind optimism?  Hope?  I have no idea.  But it is how I cope and how I choose to focus my thoughts.

Occasionally, something will come along that will attempt to shake my unshakable faith that all is going to turn out exactly how I want it.  Recently, this was in the form of a questionnaire.  Dave signed us up for a “Couples Retreat for Patients with Metastatic Colon Cancer”.  When the information first came in the mail, I tossed it out thinking there was NO WAY Dave would want to attend.  Turns out I was wrong.  We have to answer some questions and bring them along the weekend of October 5th.  There are statements that you have to agree or disagree with such as “I want to make the most of our time….” or “I am uncertain about our future….”  Frankly the discussions that may serve as follow up to these statements scare the crap out of me.  I don’t want to think about any of that.  So maybe I am in denial.  But I couldn’t live anywhere else.



5 thoughts on “It’s Where I Live

  1. It’s not denial. It’s the fiber of life. Faith and hope and love. Without these we have nothing. I love you Robyn. Keep writing. We are here with you in faith and hope and love.

  2. You are not in denial. You are drawing on deep strength. I usually like logic and statistics, but following statistics preordains your destiny. You can’t move forward and overcome with logic. You can overcome with faith and hope. Even statistics show that persons who shouldn’t have made it through some obstacle are the persons who determined statistics didn’t apply to them. Never stop moving because of some dumb statistic.

  3. You MUST watch the movie “What the Bleep Do We Know.” It shows exactly how our brains tell our bodies what is true and how we can make what we want to be true real through our thoughts and ways of being.
    Live into and create the reality of winning this battle. Someone IS the 10 percent. Why wouldn’t it be Dave?? I believe it will be. I’ll live that reality with you.
    Seriously get the movie. It would be amazingly powerful for both of you.

  4. That movie is awesome. Robyn, I think you can live your life with that faith and hope and still answer those kind of questions at the retreat. I think it’s a little of “hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.” It might make it easier for both you and Dave to focus on the hope part once you have answered some of these questions.

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