Fight or flight? If I am being honest (why stop now!), I am definitely more the “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. The tower has cleared us for take off” type. When the going gets tough, I get going. I can overcome this innate instinct, face my anxieties, and hunker down for the fight, but I don’t like it.
My natural avian tendencies have not kicked in when you think they might have. When Dave was diagnosed, during both surgeries, and after the recurrence of tumors, I was a rock. It is during other times that I find my mind wandering wondering how the weather might be in the south of France.
Those of you who know Dave well won’t be surprised to learn that his natural tendency is fight. Fight, fight, fight. This comes in handy when facing a daunting diagnosis like metastatic colon cancer. However, it becomes a liability when asking your family how a home project is coming along.
Having two such opposing personalities can be a huge asset. We balance each other out for the most part. But we both struggle with it too. This weekend Dave wasn’t feeling especially well. His sister got married so he was determined to suck it up and have a good time. This worked marvelously well when we were around other people. But when we were alone, and he could let his hair down, so to speak, it was armageddon. I believe most people are like this – you show your true emotions to your “safe” people. So, I listened, TRIED not to take things personally, and kept my big mouth shut. But it was hard. So so hard. And this morning I’ve been wondering how far I can get on a couple of tanks of gas….