It has been a quiet writing week. I couldn’t think of much to write about that didn’t involve feelings of frustration, hurt or complaining so I decided to take a little break. I reflected quite a bit on the events of last weekend. Dave and I talked about everything and, in the end, simply didn’t agree. So I am brought back to a fundamental truth of which I had lost sight. You can only control your own actions and decisions. If Dave wants to do something, that is his choice. I can only speak my mind and ultimately control how I react.
Dave wants to visit a friend in Chapel Hill next weekend. In my efforts to look out for his best interest, I told him..
*driving on I95 Friday after work is nuts.
*driving on Friday when you have just been disconnected from chemo is exhausting
*I would rather see him take it easy next weekend, so that he can have a good “off” week with his family.
In the end, he will do what he wants to do. It may not make any sense to me and may not seem to be the best choice health wise. But the only thing I can control is how I act. So, if he goes, I will not spend a week thinking about it. I won’t be hurt, and I won’t be complaining. If he is tired and feeling cruddy next week though he probably won’t be getting a whole lot of sympathy either.