There are times when I swear Dave can barely tolerate being in the same room with me. I get a funny look or the tone of his voice barely conceals his irritation. It was when I was chatting with my Tuesday morning coffee buddies, Michele and Heather, that I recognized fully what “the look” and the tone mean. After all, there have been times when I have administered both in healthy doses.
I had terrible morning sickness when I was pregnant. With each successive pregnancy, the effects got worse. The magic 12 week mark came and went, and I still suffered the awful nausea and vomiting. It was during those times, as I lay in bed watching the tower of laundry grow ever taller or when I dragged myself out of the house to drop a kid off at school that I gave “the look”. It is resentment, pure and simple. It was a look that said “I feel like total crap and look at you going along your merry way without a care in the world” or “You have no idea what I am going through. I am suffering and your life hasn’t changed at all.” Of course Dave’s life changed through those times and of course he had stress and worry and lots of cares in the world. I just felt very alone in my suffering.
So now I am better equipped to deal with “the look” or the thinly veiled tone of annoyance. He is right. I can’t fully understand what he is going through, but I do care and I do worry and I am right by his side as we travel this road both separately and together.