Have You?

Have you researched drugs and treatment options (even the holistic remedies that western medicine scoffs at) and presented them to the doctor?

Have you driven to apothecaries and natural food stores searching for something, anything that might help with nausea or fatigue and isn’t another chemical solution?

Have you walked someone through treatment?  From the severe anxiety beforehand to the side effects afterwards?

Have you provided for their every need whether it is unmentionable items at the drug store you never thought you would be buying or running out late at night for ginger ale to soothe the stomach?

Have you been the shoulder to cry on or had to bear the brunt of their rage and frustration because it’s easier to take it out on a person than on the cancer?

Have you sat for hours in the hospital waiting room worried as every second ticks by that something has gone wrong?

Have you held your child as they cry out of worry for their dad?

Have you pried the tough questions out of your child because they are afraid of the answers?

Have you “held the fort down” because that’s what you do when your spouse is sick?

Have you swallowed your feelings and emotions to protect yourself and your partner?

Have you cried and vented with a friend all of those things that you are afraid to say out loud for fear of them coming true?

Have you done things that are terrifying because they need to be done when you would rather run and bury your head in the sand?

Have you had the tough conversations like “Hey, instead of having a beer together let’s do something else.  I want your liver to be as healthy as possible!”?

Have you talked about death and funerals and odds?

If you have, then you can judge me or claim to understand.  If you haven’t, then you are so very lucky indeed.



6 thoughts on “Have You?

  1. I am so sorry you have had these experiences, and anything that led up to you having to write this. I can’t believe anyone would judge you for any of the decisions that you make for your family.

  2. It breaks our hearts that you have had all those experiences and feel the need to remind the rest of us if you haven’ t walked in those shoes be grateful for that blessing and just listen to those who have and to remind ourselves that whatever we are going though is just a drop in the bucket of what the sufferers and caregivers and families are experiencing.
    The truth is it does need saying and the hope is that by doing so it will be a wake up call to all of us that the world doesn’t just revolve around ourselves!
    We love you and yours soo much and we are learning so much from you about gratitude, patience, kindness caring, faith and love.
    Mom and Dad

  3. Robyn, I have a severe distrust for doctors due in part, but not limited to an extremely arrogant neurologist whose bad decision making came close to severely injuring (maybe killing) one of my children. Recently, an ophthalmologist insist that my youngest child’s vision related behaviors are of no consequence even though they are the exact same behaviors the oldest child had which led to severe vision/reading problems at the same age (it just so happens youngest child cannot verbalize what is happening). I happen to know the ophthalmologist has limited options to treat and doesn’t want to admit it. I know that many “alternative” treatments can be very helpful and complimentary to allopathic approaches and I wish allopathic doctors (MDs) would recognize the continuum to expand the toolbox of treatments available. Someone asked me once to write about the problems I had encountered. I won’t because my family needs access to MDs and I am concerned publishing anything could result in being black listed. The whole situation stinks. The whole system is broken. No one should go through this. I haven’t had to deal with same junk, but I really do understand what you are going through.

    Your family is very blessed to have you to hold them up.

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