I am grateful for this place. It is the Life with Cancer Center. We have been meeting with a counselor there who has years of experience working with colon cancer patients and their families.
For the last month or so I have been worrying about Dave’s working or more accurately Dave’s lack of working. He has been in a bit of a slump – going in late or quite a few days not going in at all. Each morning as the clock seems to bellow “look how late it is!”, my anxiety increases. I’d like to say that I am the understanding wife who doesn’t say anything, but I do. Every time. We talked about my stress last night during counseling. I am worried that when Dave doesn’t go to work that he is feeling worse than I am aware. I am concerned that he is depressed when he stays home and sleeps a good part of the day. And I fear that his bosses will try to move him out of his school into a different position. When I have tried to talk to him about this, I imagine what he is hearing is something akin to the Charlie Brown teacher.
What I Say: If you sleep until noon/take a three hour hap, you are not going to be able to sleep tonight which means you are going to be tired in the morning.
What He Hears: Wanh wanh wanh wuh wahn.
What I Say: I think it’s a great idea for you to alter your work hours. But then you have to try to follow that new schedule.
What He Hears: Blah blah blah. Nag nag nag.
I have been at a loss as to how to help him (And let’s be honest, help my stress too.) Last night, I asked our counselor for her advice. Much of what she said to us was not new. But he could HEAR it from her. She suggested very specific sleeping parameters as far as hours per night and minutes per nap. She talked to him about work and his schedule. This morning he got up at his normal time and went to school. This has only happened a couple of times in the last few weeks. I am so so hopeful. And so thankful.