While Dave was at Hopkins last Monday morning, he got an email from a lady with whom he works. She knew of someone who had a three year old old english bulldog that he was looking to sell.
Sam thought she was adorable and was already thinking of names. My responses are the ones in blue…
Dave asked if we could go and look at her over the weekend. I said we could look but that I had many reservations (time, space, energy, money) about adding another dog to the family. I also thought it would put additional stress on Cupcake, the senior citizen of the group. I was very clear about it being highly unlikely that I would agree to get her. I also went on to tell him that the only reason that I was even willing to look is because I didn’t want to say no to him because I understand how important is to have things to look forward to especially this week while he is housebound.
So this morning we loaded Winston up into the car and headed off to meet Kahlua. During the drive, I was thinking about the fact that I didn’t want to say no to Dave. I was also thinking that the bulk of the responsibility of another dog would be on me if he has more weeks like this one. Understandably he spent much of this week in bed sleeping. I wondered if he was giving as much thought to how I felt as I was giving to his feelings.
As soon as we walked in the door I thought, “Oh no. We are going to get this dog.” She is very very cute. The owner started to tell us a little bit about her. Alarm bells and whistles were going off in my head – sensitive skin, special diet, cleaning between the wrinkles, rash under the tail, keep her in the crate while you are out, chews. Dave didn’t seem to hear any of that as he was too busy bonding with her. We walked Winston outside to have a family meeting. I was still wrestling with saying no. To my surprise, Grant was the one who dug in his heels. He explained to Dave that we already have 2 tortoises, 3 leopard geckos, fish, a guinea pig and two dogs and that was enough. He said he didn’t think that it was fair to Cupcake who is already stressed out by Winnie. So in the end, Grant and I said no and Parker, of course, wanted to bring her home as did Dave. We didn’t get her.
On the long, quiet drive home, I felt very very guilty. I hate saying no. I do it frequently but I always feel a little bad about it if the request is at all reasonable. When we got home, Dave headed back to bed and I soaked one of the geckos who was having trouble shedding. In the meantime, Winnie threw up all over the carpet. This is when I discovered that we were out of carpet cleaner. So off to the store I went. On the way, I noticed that Dave’s car needed filling up so I took care of that. I came home and scrubbed the carpet. All the while Dave slept.
There is not an ounce of guilty feeling left in me.