Ugh.

The weight of the world fell squarely onto the shoulders of my 19 year old today.  I got a text while I was at work that said “Dad is retiring?!”  We had talked to all three kids about Dave stepping away from work, but we never used the word retirement.  There is a finality to it that has been hard enough for me to wrap my heart and mind around.  So there was a reluctance to say it to the kids just yet.  I guess a family member commented on a Facebook page that has been set up in support of Dave.  That comment showed up in Sam’s Facebook feed which led her to the group.  By the time I got home it was apparent that she had been crying for some time.  I asked her if she wanted to talk but she couldn’t.  She told me, “I just can’t get it together.”  My response “I understand.”

A little while later, I asked her to run errands with me.  I had an opportunity to explain to her that Dad could no longer lead the school since he wasn’t able to work full time.  We talked about the fact that by retiring Dad was making sure that financially we were okay.  She cried some more.  It has been a tough day, but now she understands more.  And she probably needed to know.

The Facebook group is really neat – lots of positive comments about Dave and great pictures too.  But very bittersweet to be sure.  You might want to check it out.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1425307577738898.

xoxo,

Robyn

5 thoughts on “Ugh.

  1. Thanks for sharing the facebook link. So many wonderful photos. I hope Dave knows how much he means to our students and families. I don’t know if it was his “dream job”, but he sure was our “dream Principal!” Robyn the way you spoke with Sam about it was right on. Your are doing a great job.

    • thanks, heidi. it was definitely his “dream job”. a perfect match. he has moments of definite frustration that he is not going to be able to finish what he started. but he is so very proud of hayfield and that he got to be a part of it.

      i appreciate your supportive words about sam. it has been an emotional day but lots of good open communication too. she is worried and angry at the injustice of it all. i totally understand.

  2. Robyn. I’m sure Samantha was very upset at first but you were sooo smart to take her out and have a conversation with her. There really isn’t a good or bad time to explain things. Things happen for a reason so now Samantha can understand this a little better. Parker is way too young to understand and you’ll have that talk with Grant when it’s the right time. He has so much going on in school to handle this situation for now. Your heart will tell you when it’s time. Lots of love and many prayers.

  3. Robyn. You are navigating waters many of us have never wanted to think about. Your raw emotional account of each day connects my heart to yours even though we have never met and probably never will. ” Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.”
    ― William Shakespeare, Macbeth
    My thoughts are with you, your children and all of the Tremaine family.
    I know from experience, God will give you a peace “that passeth all understanding” and one day you will have a complete peace and joy again.
    di jones
    greensboro, nc
    (hollywood housewife blog follower)

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