Being Right

I try to live by the belief that it is better to be kind than to be right.  But it seems like human nature creates in us a strong desire to be right.  I think we have all been there before – thought we saw things more clearly or believed that we knew what was best for another.  What I have learned is that even if you think you know or have had a similar experience, you can’t know.  It’s not the same.  How could it be?

Someone I see regularly has apparently been telling others that I am in denial and just need to accept reality.  I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that her intentions are good.  But here is what I would like to say to her…

“You are right.  I am in denial.  I refuse to believe the prognosis.  I guess I’ll believe it when I have no other choice.  That is how I choose to live and how I find the strength to climb out of bed in the morning.  In what way should I be reacting that would make YOU feel better?”

On another note, we are off to see the doctor this morning.  Dave’s side pain is still not under control and in recent days he has developed some pretty severe swelling of his legs and feet.  This is our reality.  And yet when you see me, I’ll be smiling and talking about something else. What you can’t see, because I probably won’t show you, is that inside my heart is breaking.



20 thoughts on “Being Right

  1. You are accepting the challenges of being you in exactly the way you need to – don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing it wrong! And know that however you’re handling things, you have an army of us sending positive joss and mental hugs, even if *we’re* smiling and talking about other things.

  2. Of all of your blog posts (which are all very touching and informative – even funny) this one really touched me. You don’t know me but I worked with Dave at Annandale and then had the privilege of having him as two out of my four kids Principal. It was my 7th grader who told me about your blog (kids are SO smart)! I started reading the day he told me about it and haven’t stopped. I have laughed and cried with you. I admire your strength. Since I don’t know you personally I can only go by what I have read… I would never have thought you were in denial. My thought is you are going to keep on keeping on until you have no choice and “Hope Floats”! Your attitude is wonderful and I only hope if I were ever faced with these type of circumstances I could learn from your positive attitude. Now remember I said I have been reading so I do know that you have moments and I think that’s what draws me to your blog even more. You are real and human and that is refreshing! God Bless you and your family. My family is praying four you and cheering you on!

  3. For every thoughtless person who thinks they know better, you have at least 10 of us who know you are making exactly the right choices for you and your family. I’m sorry the negative thoughts and words of anyone are getting through to your ears – that’s absolutely what you do NOT need. I hope that person reads this blog. I love you and support your every decision.

  4. You are doing the best that you can do, each day as it comes. I pray you find strength and comfort in the support your words generate.

  5. I don’t think anyone could come close to presuming what the reality you live in is. You are the one going to appointments, deciphering, asking questions and you are constantly witnessing the changes that have occurred over time. I think what you are doing is living and going about the business of living. There’s no right or wrong way to meet this challenge. You meet it your way–the only right way for you.

  6. As so many have said above, you are meeting this head on and carry a lot of water for your whole family while doing it. I tell my kids all the time, it is the easy path to be critical and judge-y. It takes a better person to rise above and see the good in a trying situation. That other person has just shown her true colors and truly so have you through your grace and love and honesty in facing your family’s challenge.

  7. This recent blog saddened my heart so much for you! You have so much going on for you right now and negative comments are not necessary on top of the AMAZING job you are doing dealing with Dave’s health, being a wife, mom, teacher, and a long list of other duties. The positive posts above show you the deep love and respect people have for you and what your role is in Dave’s health journey. Always look back on how much people admire you — I realize one negative comment can eat at you, but the person in no way can know what you go through daily. Keep up your positive outlook — you have grace and strength. Take care and tell Dave his “buddy” continues to check on him on a regular basis through this blog. His next package will be on its way shortly.

  8. Robyn, I admire you for the way you have dealt with Dave’s illness, how you have supported him and the way you have both addressed issues with your children in ways that are appropriate for them. You have shown both integrity and dignity, and there aren’t many people who could have handled this as well as you have. This woman’s opinions must feel very hurtful at a time when you least need it and I’m so sorry for you. Perhaps she has never heard the saying “Do not judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes”.
    Keep your chin up.
    Love Nickie x

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