The Blink of an Eye

His skin now has a yellowish hue as do the whites of his lovely blue eyes.  The skin on his legs and feet is pulled so tight that it’s starting to crack.  This lifetime athlete now has to stop to catch his breath after walking from one room to the next, and we are still seeking a good solution for controlling the pain.  The word that comes to mind is impossible.  A month ago we were at a reptile show.  And going out to lunch.  And taking the dogs for long meandering walks through the woods.  I have this overwhelming feeling that we haven’t done all the things that we were supposed to do.  

Now there are oxygen tanks and a hospital bed.  Hospice has been out twice going over medicines and symptoms.  I cannot wrap my mind around all of this.  Impossible.




26 thoughts on “The Blink of an Eye

  1. I don’t know you or your husband but as I read your post it breaks my heart. Many prayers for you and your family as you make this journey through this difficult time.

  2. Robyn , I have no words , either. I was supposed to be up there right now, but know this, I can be there to help at a moments notice. You may be my cousin, but you and Matt are my other brother and sister. We love you guys!!!

  3. “Hear my cry, O God; give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For You have been a refuge for me, a tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in Your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.” ~ Psalm 61:1-4

  4. Breath in. Breath out. Repeat. Think of the army of love and concern sending karma your way and know that -whatever it is that you’re doing to cope with today- is the absolute right thing to do, today. Tomorrow will be different. You will cope (or Not!) differently. That’s ok, too. The army of love and concern will still be sending good karma.

  5. Robyn, please give Dave a big hug from me. And know that I am thinking of you and praying for you, and sending you lots of love.
    Cathy DuPuy

  6. Robyn, I’m a long-time reader of Laura’s blog and have just been catching up on yours. I wanted you to know that I am praying for you, Dave and your kids. I can only imagine what you’re going through, but I pray specifically that you will all feel blanketed in peace and will be able to rest well at night to help you be strong during the days. Much love from Birmingham, Alabama.

  7. Love you and Dave and wishing I could be there to give you guys hugs in person. I thought of this quote by Winnie the Pooh, “If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. i’ll always be with you.”

  8. While the circumstance seems intolerable, the inability to take the pain away can make time stand still as your mind is trying to figure out how to fix it. Then you blink…. And where did the time go? How did all these changes happen right in front of me? Did I miss something? Should I have done something differently?
    Be gentle with yourself…. There is nothing you should or could be doing differently… Let the hospice folks help you…. They can provide insights that will let you know that what you are doing is exactly what needs to be done.
    It is hard to wrap your mind around…. Even from out here….
    You are not alone….
    Wishing you peace of mind and strength of spirit….

  9. I have worked at Hayfield and gotten to know Dave just a little these past two years, but it was enough to know that he is one of the best administrators with whom I’ve ever worked. Dave let my son shadow him one day last year and made a lasting impression on him for which I am very thankful. We send all of our positive thoughts and prayers your way as you go through each day. Give Dave a big hug from my son Sam and me.

  10. The entire VHSL staff sends you and Dave many thoughts and prayers. You are one of the strongest individuals I have ever come across. Even though this is your and Dave’s journey, you have a very strong support system. Prayers continue to come your way.

  11. Oh Robyn. The love I have for you both is only dimmer than the admiration I have for your grace. You and that tall drink of water are in my constant thoughts and prayers. Please tell him I love him.

  12. Dear Robyn,
    I don’t know you but my niece attends school there, and my sister sent me the link to your blog today.

    My heart is with you and your family. You have done a huge service to the world with your blog, which I read completely this morning. I hope through your grief you will feel pride for the courage you have shown and shared. Your journal is a gift from you to the world, and your husband is the catalyst that started it. I will never forget it.

    Thank you.

    Joyce Deschamps

  13. Thinking of you, Dave and your family everyday. I am so drawn to your blog. BIG hugs to you and Dave! This post breaks my heart. You are simply amazing in my eyes. XO

  14. Dear Robyn, Thinking of you, Dave and the kids every moment and hoping that you somehow feel the endless love that so many have for all of you during this horribly difficult time.

  15. Robyn- Im so sorry to hear the latest news and wish there was something I could do. Embrace Hospice as it is such a wonderful organization and they will be your angels of strength during this difficult journey. Use them for everything as they are there for the entire family. They really helped my family during our time of need at all hours of the day. I pray and pray and pray for all of you.

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