I Choose You

I just got home from the funeral home. Dave would have hated it so much. He would have definitely cracked a joke about the guy’s soft spoken tone. Dave’s mom had the incredible strength to deal with all the details. I couldn’t bear it and had to leave. Dave was absolutely anti-funeral. He told me he didn’t want people standing around crying over him. So, instead, he asked me to throw a big party celebrating life with everyone having a good time and sharing funny stories.  I am not sure when that will happen, but it will definitely happen.

In the last few weeks, when I just can’t deal (like today), I put on my earphones and listen to music loudly. My playlist has Eminem, Iggy Azalea, Imagine Dragons. One song that I discovered is by Sara Bareilles called I Choose You. It reminds me of our relationship – especially these lyrics.

We are not perfect

We’ll learn from our mistakes

And as long as it takes I will prove my love to you

I am not scared of the elements

I am under-prepared, but I am willing

And even better I get to be the other half of you

Tell the world that we finally got it all right.

I choose you.


I am so thankful for the 22 years that I got to be the other half of you, Dave. I love you.



25 thoughts on “I Choose You

  1. This is so moving – despite your many disclaimers, there is so much strength, honor and courage in you sharing this with those of us outside your family who knew and respected your husband.

    So I guess I have to apologize, twice, for enabling Dave’s “rocking the Orange” – I am responsible for two of the many pair of orange shoes he had. He loved those ridiculously ugly hi-top orange Nike Hyperdunks. To the extent that you had to endure those hideous kicks, I am sorry! I think there was a pair of trainers I found for him that weren’t as bad . . .

    Dave was the principal when both my kids graduated from Hayfield; as a coach and parent volunteer, I was amazed at the change he effectuated at the school. I was proud to consider him a friend.

  2. i am so terribly sorry for your loss. sending you strength to deal with the coming days. remember those beautiful 22 years that you had together.

  3. He was so proud of the life you built together. Every time he shared a story about you and the children his face would light up. There is a time for tears and there will definitely be a time for celebration.

  4. So beautiful…
    The best way to honor my friend… Who I was lucky enough to know when I started my career at Luther Jackson… Is to emulate much of what he stood for. While I don’t think anyone could “be” Dave… We can certainly strive to be more loving, generous, and silly (in such a great way).

  5. Robin I am sending loving thoughts and warm hugs your way. I know how much you love Dave and am glad I was witness to that. Can’t wait to celebrate his life and family.

  6. So beautiful Robyn, and yet so real at the same time. That is what I love about your family. No pretending but yet so positive and thankful for the years you did have with Dave. Thinking of you.

  7. Dear Robyn, I was so sad to hear of your loss. Dave was a shining star. I remember him always wearing a smile on his face and having infectious enthusiasm. He always reminded me of a big kid. I will always remember our basketball games and talking to him in the hallway at Luther Jackson. I will never forget the day his pet boa got loose and ended up in my classroom. He came loping down the hallway and picked it up. He held the snake over his head and gave the class a big grin. I will always remember him with joy.

  8. I’m so thankful there are so many happy and fun things in this world that are orange…because then and there I will always choose to think of Dave, Robyn, Samantha, Grant and Parker…xoxoxo

  9. I have been thinking of you all day my friend and confess I have shed tears for you. The tributes on FB are wonderful and clearly Dave was, and still is, very loved and admired. What an amazing man – I can see why you chose each other, you complemented each other perfectly. He’s waiting for you somewhere, I’m sure of it. xxx

  10. Beautiful lyrics Robyn….just beautiful….. Those words being a reflection of your relationship is a lovely tribute. Do what you have to do to get through this…..I know these last years were hard, but unfortunately the roller coaster doesn’t end quite yet…hang on, keep embracing, and know you have so many people who care and will be there for you and the kids! Just do not be afraid to ask for help when you feel like you can’t hold on….Love and prayers Lisa

  11. Robyn,
    One of the hardest funerals I expected to go to was one of a 25 year old who died unexpectedly. Surprisingly, it was one the best celebrations of life…beautiful, funny stories/memories. So bring on the “orange” stories and photos that epitomize your wonderful husband and it would be wonderful to hear the other side of Dave. When it came my time to say goodbye to my mom…it was the beautiful stories that made up the fabric of her life that helped ease my pain of having to say good bye.

  12. Robyn, I am so very sorry for your loss. Mr T was my 7th grade science teacher at Luther Jackson 1996-1997, and I will always remember how kind and funny he was. My former classmates and I have been reminiscing about him all day since learning of his passing. We all loved him! He will be missed by all who had the privilege of meeting him. Sending hugs and healing thoughts your way.

  13. So, all those many years ago we all knew something was going on with the two of you, maybe even before you guys did. You both lit up like Christmas trees when the other walked in to a room. You did a reasonable job of keeping it from your students until you left your keychain out one day on a table. On it there was a picture of you and Dave in a cute little plastic frame. Entering the classroom one morning a student saw it and squealed, grabbed the key ring and ran into the pod announcing, “We all knew it!!!!” I still remember the grin on your face as you attempted to retrieve your keys. Not sure our pod got much work done that day…..

  14. I work in FCPS and I want you to know I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your entire family in my prayers.

  15. HUGS! At times like this I have no idea what to say, but I’m sending love, sending strength…all in a soft-spoken voice. More hugs….

  16. Our hearts are broken for you and your family. Mom has been keeping us posted and we look forward to the day that we can all share happy stories about Dave. While I only knew him as an adult through Mom and Ann’s well-earned bragging, he was a great kid when we were little and was the kindest guy. He leaves behind a wonderful legacy for his children and all that knew him.

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  18. Pingback: The Choices We Make | embracingtherollercoaster

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