I killed a HUGE man eating sized bug today. All by myself. It took a can of Raid and a really heavy book, but I did it. It also took some Clorox wipes to deal with the aftermath. Dave knew that if he came home and there was a book randomly placed on the floor that there was something I deemed scary underneath. And he would take care of it.
Last night we had dinner with his family. Everyone was gathered in my sister in law’s family room. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Dave walk in. Of course it wasn’t. It was his brother returning from the airport. But for that moment, I thought it could be.
The family is leaving over the next fews day. They have families and responsibilities to take care of. It is going to be really hard to see them go. The help and support everyone provided can’t be measured. I will miss them. I guess I am feeling really alone which is silly because I know that I am not. My family and friends are at the ready to help in any way they can.
This week, I will be dealing with paperwork and benefits related things. Each time I get an email, I feel stressed. We thought we had done all of the paperwork and covered all of our bases. Of course, that doesn’t appear to be so now. On Friday, I have to pick up the death certificate. The death certificate. I can’t believe it.
My neighbor set up a fundraising site for us. I am feeling a little sheepish about it but I said okay because I can use whatever money to make the kids lives as full and normal as possible as we try to fill even a tiny portion of the Dave sized gap we have in our lives now. He was he fun parent. Now, I need to step up my fun game.
As Dave would be saying to me right now. “It is going to be okay. Just take it one day at a time.”