They are handsome, of course. They are fiercely protective and amazingly strong. But they are also sensitive. And funny as hell. That was true of Dave and is definitely true of our son, Grant. Dave came by it honestly since I believe his dad and brother share the same traits.
I could not have made it through the last week without them, and I couldn’t possibly list all of the ways in which they were helpful so instead I will share the greatest impact they made on me.
After we watched over Dave, and he had been gone from us for a while, I felt the overwhelming need to go home. It is a conflicted feeling because I didn’t want to leave him, but I also didn’t want to be there anymore. As we walked slowly to the car, I suddenly felt the extraordinary heaviness of the last days like someone was pushing firmly down on my shoulders with all of their might. I sat in the car and started to cry. Jeff reached over and took my hand and it felt like the only thing keeping me afloat. I think I gripped on with both hands. Through his heartbreak and devastating grief, he selflessly supported me. I wish I could say I did the same, but I didn’t. I was too lost in my own emotions. I don’t think I will ever forget that journey home from the hospital.
While we watched over Dave during what would be his final hours, each of us talked to him, kissed him, reassured him that we would be okay and that he could rest. I sat by the bed and held Dave’s hand but when others approached I tried to look down to give them some privacy. Dave’s dad came up to him numerous times and told him he loved him and rubbed his shoulder and kissed him. As the day went on, he also seemed to be holding Dave’s hand. It wasn’t until later that I realized he was actually feeling for his oldest child’s pulse. So, as the time got near and I remained completely unaware, Myron, was able to get the family back in the room. When we knew that it was almost time, we cried and said the final things we wanted Dave to hear. I can’t explain it, but it felt like a gift to know that his time was growing close. I will never forget the love from a dad to his son in his final hours.
One of the last things Dave said was, “Take care of each other.” Baby, I don’t want you worry. We will.