Dreams

About a week after Dave died, one of my friends asked me if I had had any dreams about him.  At that point, I hadn’t.   Probably because my sleep was being pharmaceutically assisted.  I have had two since then.  I can’t really remember the first one, but in the most recent one I literally woke myself up because I was crying.  That has never happened to me before.  In my dream I was hugging Dave and telling him that I didn’t want him to go.  He was standing there calmly smiling at me but not saying anything and not hugging me back.

This afternoon Sam decided to take a nap between the water park and mini golf.  When I went to check on her, she was crying.  She told me she had a dream about Dave.  In her dream we were at the water park.  The kids and I were doing the activities and Dave was sitting alone in the corner making the same hand motions that he was making at home that last Saturday.  (During that last day where he was reasonably coherent, he was also having bouts of disorientation where he was dreaming.  He would act out motions with his hands like eating or picking at this clothes or even one time fist fighting.)  Sam said the most disturbing part of her dream was that she couldn’t get to him.

So there are some common threads to our dreams.  I think we are all feeling his distance right now.

But we are managing to have some fun too.  We have hit the beach and pools pretty hard.  We rode the Sky Wheel which was terrifying for me, but the kids liked it.  We’ve explored the boardwalk and Broadway at the Beach.  We’ve gone to the water park and played putt putt.  We have gone out for lots of meals and each time we are in the car, we have played a similar soundtrack and sung at the tops of our lungs.  And one of us always works into the conversation what Dave would have said or done if he was with us – honoring his memory while trying to create new ones.  We are trying.

xoxo,

Robyn

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5 thoughts on “Dreams

  1. You are honoring his wishes to allow room for fun and happiness. I think he is reassured to see you doing so as it tells him that you will all eventually be okay. Hugs, mom/Grammy xoxoxoxo

  2. Mrs. Tremaine ,
    I know from your blog you are at the beach but I just wanted to tell you WUSA channel 9 is doing a story at 5:15 today on Diana’s petition to rename Hayfield Secondary.? . Peggy Fox is the reporter and she was great. We told her all about your husband . She wanted to wait with the story but her boss said go with it today so she interviewed Diana and went to the school. The board has contacted us regarding a regulation that says they can’t do it ‘while the school is still functional .’ However Diana wants to continue to pursue it because Mr.Tremaine deserves it.. and to increase the publicity . If you just read the petition comments you know she is far from alone.. We are committed to this: hayfield strong. Tremaine strong .

    It sounds like you are having a respite ; I hope the ocean is sustaining you somewhat . We are not aquaintances, but always remember people are thinking of you . Mr.T. is forever in our hearts.
    Leslie and Diana

  3. Dear Robyn, After this you may think I am a total whack job…I would describe myself as Catholic/Christian. Not into psychics, new age stuff etc. But I do believe with all my heart that certains times when you dream of loved ones who have passed-I do believe they are visitation dreams…Now I sound crazy…but I believe Dave was telling you (even though he was not hugging you back or speaking) that he is okay…..The pain is still so fresh and raw and it will be very hard going home…but enjoy your vacation as much as you can, it will make Dave happy…one day at a time…☝️💛

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