Sam is one tough kid. She lives in chronic pain. Pain that we cannot begin to imagine. At 19 years old, she often struggles when standing up from a chair. Her hip locks up or just shifts slightly out of place so she has to limp a bit to get it returned as best she can. The doctors we have seen (3 so far) do not have a single solution for her. It became disheartening to hear the “live with it” spiel one more time. To be told that “once you start using a walker, we can consider a hip replacement” was devastating. I wish we could find a doctor who was willing to think outside the box and not be satisfied with the standard response. Would they be okay with that solution if she was their daughter? I doubt it.
In spite of this, she goes to the gym every day, volunteers, works, does exceptionally well at university, and has a busy social life. Although it never goes away and she doesn’t know a pain free moment, she makes the best of her situation. I couldn’t be more proud or in awe of her. I miss her when she is away because we sit and talk about all manner of things, or go shop, or just watch silly TV shows together. I cherish the relationship that we have.
So you can imagine that it broke my heart when she said to me a few weeks ago, “Maybe I am sad/grouchy a lot because I am always hurting.” If I could take it away, I would. I am researching more doctors but don’t want to get her hopes up because that would just be another disappointment.
She has dealt with her dad’s death with such grace and maturity. I know that she is sad and misses him every day. I know she gets angry at the crappy hand that she has been dealt. But mostly she just perseveres, laughs a lot, and trudges forward one step at a time. I am thankful for her every single day.