Yesterday Grant and I had a mother/son day. It started with a run to Dunkin’ on our way to watch the Redskins play. It was a picture perfect day as we sat in some amazing seats and cheered the Redskins to victory. Later in the evening we went and picked up swim gear and attended a team meeting. On the drive home, I glanced over at Grant and discovered big, huge tears streaming down his cheeks.
Me: Why are you crying?
Grant: I think that you are trying to have the same relationship with me that I had with Dad.
Me: Well, that wouldn’t be possible. You and Dad had a special bond. You and I can never have that same relationship, but we have our own different one.
Grant: Remember the other day when I asked you “What if we lived in a world where sequels weren’t allowed to exist? You just kind of said that would be weird. Dad and I had that same conversation. We talked about it for hours.
Me: You and Dad had a really unique relationship. You guys could talk about lots of different things. I am so sorry that you don’t have him anymore to have those kinds of talks.
We arrived home and hugged. Grant cried some more and so did I. There are many days when I miss Dave so much that it hurts but that doesn’t compare to the pain I feel when I realize what my kids are missing. Grant has a distinct point of view in this world, and Dave was the person who absolutely understood that the best. They would talk about all manner of things. I wish I could wave a magic wand and find someone who could be that person for Grant, but there will never be anyone who can stay up until the wee hours discussing the topics that made their relationship one of a kind.