What I Have Learned – 3 Months Later

1. I am, at times, both stronger than I think and not as strong as I imagine.

2. I leaned on Dave a lot.  We leaned on each other.  I identified this as “codependent” to a friend, and she more accurately described it as “a 22 year partnership”.

3. I have to do things myself and be okay with it.  I can’t wait for someone else to take care of it.  Sometimes (lots of times) it sucks to be the only grown up.

4. If I am still and listen closely, I can hear his voice in my ear.  His voice agreed and prodded when it was time to take Winnie in.

5. It is okay to be kind to myself – this might be in the form of a nap or a little treat like a pedicure or a new sweater.  Dave always encouraged this, and I was usually reluctant.

I miss him every single day.  My heart hurts as much today as it did three months ago.  My automatic response when I think about the fact that he is gone is to shake my head and mutter “God damn it.”  I still can’t believe he is gone.

xoxo,

Robyn

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2 thoughts on “What I Have Learned – 3 Months Later

  1. Dear Robyn, I am sorry for your pain and I wish we could take all your pain away….but I don’t think it ever goes away…it how we get through it. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute…praying for you and your beautiful children always… Love Lisa ❤️

  2. Mrs. Tremaine
    For the sake of you and your children I wish it was possible to bring back Mr. Tremaine for even one day. I know I’m not the only one finding it difficult to go to school, because I know he’s not there. Thursday is back to school night – and it’s very unreal.
    Mr. Tremaine had such a powerful effect on the kids because he was so positive in an atmosphere of often unrelenting negative emotions . I don’t know how he was able to do this , but it was what distinguished him as a leader.
    Not like you of course, but we miss him so very much.

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