My life took an unexpected time out last Tuesday.  I woke up feeling a little off and had a slight twinge in my right upper thigh that I blew off thinking it was just related to that special time of the month.  Midday I was walking around getting some things done when suddenly I could not catch my breath.  I was breathing in but the air didn’t seem to be going anywhere.  Terrifying would be a fairly accurate description.  Also, heartbreaking as I couldn’t help but think of Dave during his last day or so and how he must have felt.  I caught my breath after sitting for a few moments and thought that perhaps I had had a panic attack.  But as the afternoon went on, I had this nagging sense that perhaps this was a bigger deal.  I called my mom and told her “I think that I need to go to the ER.”  She picked me up and we headed straight there.

If you want to get seen quickly in the ER, check the “shortness of breath” box.  Within minutes I had an EKG and the doctor was in to talk to me.  The good news is that I wasn’t having a heart attack.  However, my blood pressure and heart rate were through the roof.  I tried to explain that I was stressed about my breathing but that I was also anxious because my husband had died in this very hospital in June.  I am sure it was difficult to understand me through my tears, but the nurse could not have been kinder or more comforting.  I wish I knew her name as she was a Godsend.   The doctor ordered a big dose of Ativan to calm me down.

It was a shift change so a new doctor came in to see me.  I happened to mention the twinge in my leg earlier in the day.  He ordered a chest x-ray, CT scan and an ultrasound of my leg which I had quickly all in a row.  Apparently I had experienced a pulmonary embolism – a large clot traveled from my leg and I ended up with clots to each lung in the pulmonary arteries.  Sadly for me this meant that I had to be admitted to the hospital where I most definitely didn’t want to stay.

The long story short is that I spent Tuesday through Friday night there.  Fortunately, I wasn’t lacking in visitors to keep my company.  My parents held down the fort at home and also visited to check on me and bring necessities (hello, deodorant and toothpaste).  I had an echocardiogram done as well to check on my heart.  There is some effect but the damage should be completely reversible and heal over time.  In the end, the assortment of doctors couldn’t quite agree as to whether something seen in my heart was another clot or not.  At first they said it was and then one said he wasn’t convinced.  Perhaps they were looking at the part of my heart that broke this summer when Dave died.

So I am home.  And very happy to be here with the kids.  I was tired of being in the hospital and all that comes with it.  The constant blood testing and vitals checks were making me crazy.  I am thankful that, as many of the nurses and doctors told me, “things didn’t turn out differently”.  I am trying to take it easy and keep in the forefront of my mind that my kids should not be screwed out of having both parents.  I am tired and a little anxious but as my lungs and heart heal and my breathing gets easier, I know those effects will also resolve themselves.

Prayers welcome.



17 thoughts on “Sidelined

  1. Prayers being lifted up. Take care of yourself and I had the same thoughts as what the hospital personnel did — blessed it turned out okay. Make sure they keep a check on your heart to make certain there isn’t a clot!! Hugs to you!!

  2. Robyn, I am so sorry! Mike and I just prayed for you! You have been through a lot , and I pray for your speedy recovery!
    Sending you some Greek electronic hugs!!!

  3. Oh Robyn… You have heard this enough but “hang in there”. Prayers are definitely headed your way… Robyn you have been put through enough….I’m praying God will send you healing and peace… I’m asking for no more of this pain and suffering… One person can only take so much!!! Many many many prayers and much love!!! Lisa

  4. Blimey Robyn…as if life weren’t throwing enough your way! So glad all is OK and you had your fab family around to get you through it. Keep healthy – remember some time for you too….(easy to say I know!!). All love, A xx

  5. I should have known something was up when there was no post for such a long time…you definitely would have had an extra visitor…who knows why this happened, but the outcome is the best. See you soon…xoxoxo

  6. Cant tell you how worried we have been and of course out of the country so couldnt help Thank God you went in and have used great sense. Get back to good health and see you soon. lots of prayers coming your way. love Ann

  7. Oh my gosh Robyn. What next. I am so sorry to hear about this news. Please know that you and the kids are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you a speedy recovery


  8. Ack!! Unbelievable what is being served on your plate! You and your kids deserve a break in the biggest way…still thinking of you often (even though I don’t know you) and hoping for more peaceful and happier times ahead SOON!!!

  9. Robyn, Prayers are being sent your way. I teach at Glasgow and remember the kindness and enthusiasm Dave shared with all of us. I remember his corn snake. Mickey Ferguson took that snake when Dave left. I have been following your posts and want to tell you what an incredible woman you are. I have been keeping you and your family in my prayers. Sue Ellen Nissley

  10. Oh wow…I’m just now reading what happened to you last week, Robyn. So scary…and so glad you went to the ER right away! Now I understand the FB post mentioning you were back home. I will be praying for your continued healing, for anxious thoughts to turn into prayers, and for peace in your heart and mind. *hug*

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