Old Habits are Hard to Break

I got into my car after work today and sat there for a minute before starting the engine.  My first thought was “I can’t wait to tell Dave about my crazy day”.  Five and a half months later, that instinct is still there.

He would have been appropriately outraged at my moving violation/ticket today.  I was leaving my cardiology appointment and apparently turned right at a light where this is not permitted.  I considered giving Officer Bender my full on sob story (pulmonary embolism, blah blah blah, hospital, blah blah blah, husband died, blah blah blah) but in the end, I just accepted my ticket like a big girl.  Although we would have poked a little fun at the officer’s expense for telling me not to get out of the car.  Where did he think I might go?

Dave would have laughed with me when I told him about my strange doctor’s visit.  When Dr. B was typing on the computer and giving a running commentary which included, “Wow.  Your blood clot was really big.  We got lucky on that one.”  Or when the nurse completed my EKG, said “hmm”, then came back to check the leads and said, “well, they are all on right.  Okay, the doctor will be in in a few minutes.”  I would have told him that I spent the next ten minutes stressing and trying to read the EKG read out to see what caused that reaction.  (Apparently nothing as the doctor said everything looked fine.)

Finally, I would have told him about my day at work.  We would have talked about the highs of the day of which were quite a few and any lows of which there weren’t really any.  He would have given me his two cents on a few things and a little advice.

I miss that.




3 thoughts on “Old Habits are Hard to Break

  1. Robyn,
    I have been reading your posts since last June when a friend who works for the same school district as you, posted your link on Facebook. I too am a teacher and have been married for over 30 years (and, yes, to the same guy!). Every time I read a post from you I can’t help but think that your reactions and honesty in the months since your husband’s death mirror what I too would feel. I can only imagine how difficult this journey has been. Your husband sounds like such an awesome person. I would have loved to be on his staff. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Every time I see orange I think of your family. (All the way from Arizona) I can only hope that all of the love and compassion you shared can somehow continue forward. Thank you for being honest even when it’s not easy. Take care,
    Michelle Baker

  2. Love your post Michelle….You are so right….and…. Thank you again for your post Robyn….Prayers are with you and the kids always….Lisa

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