6 Months

I wanted to write something profound and meaningful to mark the passing of six months. But I find that the words just aren’t there. So instead I will just say this. I have spent six months missing you. Every single day.

I have cried at memories. I have laughed too. I have spent six months appreciating how amazing you were and mourning not having more time together. It seems impossible to me that we have gone six months without hearing your laugh, seeing your smile, holding your hand. You did your best to ensure that we would all be okay – mentally, emotionally, financially. That last one brought you so much relief when it was all figured out. You were so concerned about us being okay after you were gone.

Impossibly time marches on. Lives go on. Days turn into months. I wear your wedding band on a chain, and I find myself slipping it onto my finger when I am lost in thought or puzzling over something. I believe that I know what you would say to me, how you would support me and encourage me. There is comfort in knowing someone that deeply.

We did not have enough time together. We were cheated of that. But we have a lot to show for the time that we did have. Three beautiful children. So many memories. We had some tough times. We had amazing times. I learned a lot and grew a lot because of you. You taught me to be silly. Really ridiculously so. You brought a lightness to my life.

I feel proud and privileged and honored to have been your wife. And this I know for sure – I will never meet anyone else like you. You were absolutely one of a kind. Thank you for twenty two years. And for your strength and encouragement and grit because that is what has gotten me through this last six months. We are doing okay. I know you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Loving you and missing you.



5 thoughts on “6 Months

  1. I still have moments when I forget he is gone. Miss him every day and know he is at peace because you and the kids are living life and having some fun. Have a fantastic trip. Love, Ann

  2. I’ve read your blog and commented some, but I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and catching up on your blog tonight. I don’t have the right words to say, but I hope and pray that 2015 will bring some unexpected joy and healing your way.

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