When I was walking downstairs this morning, I was thinking about how there is a memory attached to everything in this house. I can look at anything, with the exception of a few new household accessories and a few too many new clothes, and associate it with Dave. (Truthfully, even with the new things, I know he would have been happy that I did some things for myself and he would be thrilled with the new little touches of organization or decoration.) Parker’s tennis racquet leaning against the cubbies, his slippers on the shoe rack, a photo from National Harbor on the wall take me back to his Sunday mornings with his youngest, his feet so achy that only slippers were comfortable, and our quick getaway with the kids. These memories are comforting some days and on others make me want to move away from here. The next thought that popped into my head was that it is the 16th and another month has gone by.
I know that at this point I sound like a broken record, but I still have such a sense of disbelief. It is not that I think he is going to walk through the door at any moment; I just can’t believe he isn’t. I am beginning to wonder if this feeling ever subsides. We are seven months into our after and the feeling seems as strong as day one.
But we move forward, sometimes shuffling our feet with our heads hanging. Other times, more often than not, we hold our heads up and charge ahead. The three of us are heading to Baltimore tomorrow to the aquarium. In true Dave fashion, I decided we needed a destination this weekend and to get out of here for a day.
Happy Weekend everyone. Onward and upward.