During the hour long drive to Dennis’s funeral today, I had lots of time to think – there really is nothing worse than being alone in the car with just your thoughts to keep you company. Even the radio wasn’t enough of a distraction.
I thought about what a sweet soul Dennis was. We loved him from the get go.
I thought about his wife and daughter and how they must be feeling.
I thought about those first days which now seem so long ago. I tried to remember what I found the most helpful during that time. I decided that it was people just being there. Showing up at the doorstep. Sometimes with a meal or cookies or something (a vacuum!). Sometimes with cups of coffee and a listening ear. It didn’t matter what they brought or didn’t bring (although that’s not to say we didn’t appreciate how very well we were provided for too). It was a blessing to not feel alone. It was a blessing to have people to talk to, who were willing to listen and cry and just be present.
So I plan to show up on their doorstep on Wednesday morning armed with biscotti, a listening ear and a willingness to help in any way that I can. In those early days and even now, there are many times when I didn’t even know what to ask for when offered help. I will never forget my friend, Lori, taking a thank you basket to the hospital for me when I mentioned in passing that I wanted to do something for the incredible staff there. She really listened to me and found a way to help me that I would have never thought of myself. I hope that I can be that kind of friend.