Looking Back

During the hour long drive to Dennis’s funeral today, I had lots of time to think – there really is nothing worse than being alone in the car with just your thoughts to keep you company.  Even the radio wasn’t enough of a distraction.

I thought about what a sweet soul Dennis was.  We loved him from the get go.

I thought about his wife and daughter and how they must be feeling.

I thought about those first days which now seem so long ago.  I tried to remember what I found the most helpful during that time.  I decided that it was people just being there.  Showing up at the doorstep.  Sometimes with a meal or cookies or something (a vacuum!).  Sometimes with cups of coffee and a listening ear.  It didn’t matter what they brought or didn’t bring (although that’s not to say we didn’t appreciate how very well we were provided for too).  It was a blessing to not feel alone.  It was a blessing to have people to talk to, who were willing to listen and cry and just be present.

So I plan to show up on their doorstep on Wednesday morning armed with biscotti, a listening ear and a willingness to help in any way that I can.  In those early days and even now, there are many times when I didn’t even know what to ask for when offered help.  I will never forget my friend, Lori, taking a thank you basket to the hospital for me when I mentioned in passing that I wanted to do something for the incredible staff there.  She really listened to me and found a way to help me that I would have never thought of myself.  I hope that I can be that kind of friend.



6 thoughts on “Looking Back

  1. You are that kind of friend, sweetheart. As you know you cannot reciprocate everyone’s thoughtfulness, but you can pay it forward and help someone else travel the road they never expected to be on. We love you , Robyn, and are so proud of how you have weathered this storm. We know you would never have chosen it, but you have handled what you were given with dignity, patience and love. What more could we expect? Nothing! Love, Mom

  2. Absolutely love what your mom said Robyn! Beautifully put Mrs. Thompson. You have a remarkably special daughter.. How proud you must be!

  3. Robyn — I remember when going through some especially trying times that someone remarked to me, “When you are able to reach out to others, your healing has truly begun.” Maybe that will help as you take each step forward…xoxoxo

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