Happy Brother’s Day

I successfully navigated my first Mother’s Day alone. Dave and I weren’t big on the traditional celebrations, but he never let an occasion go by without flowers. He also loved buying me anything and everything technological because he knew I would never buy it myself. One Mother’s Day morning, I woke up to a trail of apples leading from the foot of the bed. I followed the path to its end and discovered a new iMac waiting for me.

This year my kids stepped into his size 13s. Since Samantha was in charge of the shopping with one sibling only allowed to contribute money and the other allowed to come along for the ride, they filled a gift bag with lots of my favorite things. I was reminded once again how amazing my children are. They are my biggest gift from Dave.

I woke up this morning wondering why there isn’t a Brother’s Day. Why don’t we celebrate our siblings? I am blessed to have grown up with an amazing brother and gained two more through marriage. Matt and Jeff flew into town within 24 hours of each other last June with plans to stay as long as necessary. I have often wondered how they knew to come. I expect our parents played a part in it, but if they had come a day later, they wouldn’t have had the chance to spend time with Dave while he was still Dave. His very last text, which he never sent, was to wish Matt a Happy Father’s Day.

Beyond Jeff, Matt and Franck, Dave had the most incredible friends whom he would call his brothers. I don’t want to begin to list them for fear of leaving someone out. He had his brothers who stood up for him at our wedding. And his brothers who spoke in his honor after he was gone. He had his Fantasy Football brothers. He loved football season, but he really loved the camaraderie, whether in person or on the phone, and being connected with these funny, talented, smart guys.

He had his work brothers. Men he admired for their exceptional abilities at work but also whom he loved to hang out with and share a beer and a laugh and even a tee time. He had his Gamecock brothers and his California brothers. He jumped at any opportunity to spend time with any of these guys because he just knew it was going to be a great time. He had his tennis brothers. Men who were brought into his life through their mutual love of the game but stayed because of their mutual love and respect for each other.

I know I am leaving some group out which means I will need to come back in and edit this later. Dave cherished his relationship with his own brother first and foremost. And although he did not spend as much time with some of his other brothers as he wanted, he loved them and appreciated them and was always rooting them on through the moments in their lives. And I know that he is in their hearts still doing that to this day.



2 thoughts on “Happy Brother’s Day

  1. I always wished for a brother especially an older one. None of my close friends had brothers either. When I contemplated having children, I knew I wanted at least one of each for sure. As it turns out that was what I received, and as I watched them grow I realized that they might fight, but they also looked out for one another. They were especially close, a united front, during our moves across continents and oceans.
    When they became adults, they missed time together. What made Matt’s visits especially nice was that because they are only ten months apart in age, they ended up with a wonderful core of shared friends that would gleefully descend upon our home the minute word was out Matt was home. We would enjoy impromptu meals here or they would gather here to plan the nights activities. The group grew as they married or the friends/spouses included their siblings too. We still laugh that because their school was divided into sub-schools all their friends had last names that started with l-z.
    But when Dave was diagnosed, I really saw how close they were. Matt made special trips to spend time with the Tremaines, to be there for whatever was needed. And when the final few days arrived, Matt was there not only to do what was asked, but he also saw things that needed doing.
    One of the blessings Matt ended up receiving, was the need to be organized and live in a neat and tidy environment. I can assure you that occurred AFTER he left home to attend college! When he was here the week of Dave’s passing, he dug in and dog and critter sat, so the kids could be here with us while Robyn was with the family at Dave’s beside. Later on, he and Robyn went through the house to get the things ready for pick up from hospice. He organized the many gifts that were delivered to their home, fielded many phone when she just couldn’t do so, spent important time with his nieces and nephew, and then he just cleaned everything in sight as only he could.
    Yup brothers are the best friend you could hope for. They are sometimes a pain in your side, and can be brutally honest at times; but when the Going gets rough, they are in the trenches with you for as long as it takes.
    But I must say, from what I have seen and experienced Sisters are equally wonderful too, and I can only hope that “only children” have friends and cousins that step in to be their Heroes when needs arise.
    So I say we start a movement for a siblings day, people! Hallmark, take notice, and get busy creating wonderful cards to celebrate our home grown heroes!


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