Not sure why I woke up thinking about this, but I thought I would just jot down my thoughts, in case they are helpful.
We all want to help when we have a friend going through tough times. Sometimes we are afraid we will say or do the wrong thing. Here are 5 ways you can’t go wrong –
5. If you would like to bring a meal, replace “Let me know if you need a meal.” with “I would like to bring you dinner. What day next week would work best for you.” I have never been turned down since I changed the way I was asking. When it was me, I was too embarrassed to let anyone except those closest to me know that I needed help, .
4. If you have the means, send or drop off a gift card to a restaurant – hopefully one with carry out or delivery service. These were a Godsend. We didn’t want to think about food so being able to just order from some place made life easier.
3. It’s okay to talk about the person/situation/treatment. Just be mindful of the whole “comfort in, dump out” rule. http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407 We talk about Dave all the time. It keeps him in our daily lives.
2. Mark your calendar weekly for as long as needed, “Check in on ____.” Life is busy. In being there for several friends going through different life changes, I found that marking my planner helped remind me to see how they were doing. I wanted to know how they were doing, and I didn’t want to get caught up in the busyness of life and forget to check in.
1. Let them know you are there. If you are not comfortable phoning, you can send a card, email, or even text. If you are not sure what to say, you can’t go wrong with “I am thinking about you.” There isn’t a good excuse for skipping this one. It sounds terrible, but we noticed.
PS Thank you to the people who have reached out to me after reading this. I PROMISE that isn’t what I was after with #1, but I appreciate the love. I am lucky to have such amazing friends and family!