Dave and I got married at 27 and 22. Not too long afterwards, he wanted to start a family as he felt his biological clock ticking. I never really thought too much about the timing. I was the first of my friends to get married and have kids but someone had to be first. When those ages and decisions impacted me was after he died.
In retrospect, I am glad that there was a little voice in his head urging him to get going. When we lost him, the kids were 19, 16 and 10. As far as shitty situations go, we were lucky. He was there to drop Sam off for her freshman year of college. He was there to have man to man talks with Grant about topics and ideas that guys like to talk about with each other. He had time to do with Parker many of things that he did with the other two – reading together at night, teaching her how to ride a bike.
This is a year of milestone birthdays for my kids. Grant turned 18 in March and although he and I are close, I know he misses those talks with his dad. Sam turns 21 today. Words can’t even describe how proud he would be of her. A summer internship in biology? Kid after his own heart. And this fall, my youngest will be a teen. He would love her raw enthusiasm for life.
There is a bittersweet feeling to these milestones. One LARGE part so proud of the amazing people they have turned out to be. Also, one BIG part longing to have him here with us to celebrate. To be able to look at each other, share a smile, and say “Hey, we did a pretty good job!”
Today, we celebrate this kid. It was love at first sight.