This week Grant, Parker, and I will be at Hayfield for Senior Awards marking our third year of giving out scholarships to graduating seniors.  As of Wednesday, we will have awarded a total of 15 renewable scholarships in Dave’s honor.  It is a privilege to be a part of these students’ continuing education.

A month or so ago, I got the most cowardly form of communication imaginable – a typed, unsigned letter mailed to my home address.  I actually wasn’t going to write about this topic as I thought it might be best to not give it any acknowledgement, but I find that I am still frustrated many weeks later.  Therefore, I am going to get this off my chest so that I can go into Wednesday with the right frame of mind.

The fact that the letter came to my unpublished home address means that someone copied it from one of the letters that I send to each applicant thanking them for applying for the scholarship.  I take a lot of time with these letters.  I reread their applications so that I can connect with them on a personal level and let them know specifically how impressed I was with them.  The gist of the anonymous note was that it is great that we have money to give away but that they did not agree with our selection process.  I assumed it was written by a disappointed student.  Others feel quite strongly that it was written by a parent.

I hope that the letter writer somehow sees this message –

Dear Anonymous,

If you are a Hayfield student, I expect so much better.  You cannot solve anything unless you stand by your words and sign your name.  I would have been more than happy to talk to you about the selection committee made up of representatives from Hayfield, FCPS, friends, and family as well as the multi-faceted scoring rubric we use to select our recipients.  

If you are a Hayfield parent (I truly hope this is not the case) then I wonder about the message you are sending your child.  Life is full of perceived injustices.  Trust me.  I know. Friday marks the three year anniversary of Dave’s death.  What are you teaching your child about dealing with disappointment?  

As far as the comment about it being nice that we have money to give away?  This is not our money.  Some of it is, but most of it has been donated by incredibly generous people who want to honor Dave’s memory and support Hayfield because they know how much Dave loved his school community.

If you have any further questions or concerns, feel free to reach out to me here, through Facebook or to my email.  And please sign your name.




^^If that title didn’t get you to read further, then I am not sure what will!

As we rapidly approach the three year mark since Dave died, this has been the topic about which people seem interested.  In fact, I had a lunch with a dear, sweet friend this week, and she gently asked if I was dating anyone.  She also quickly added that if it was not appropriate to ask that she was sorry.  I didn’t mind her asking at all.   I know that she asked because she cares about me and wants me to be happy.

The truth is that I have thought about it.  The door to my heart is ever so slightly ajar. But the reality is that dating, if memory serves, takes time and effort.  For now my time and energy are spoken for and I am not sure when that will change.  I imagine at some point down the road I will want to make room in my life to give the opportunity some space but for now I am okay with being exactly where I am.



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