I have this theory that I call “transference”. It is likely not an original theory, and I imagine has a much better name out there in the world. You know when you have a song stuck in your head and can’t shake it? If you sing that song in front of someone else, and they start to sing it, it is no longer in your head (but quite likely in theirs). The key is that the other person has to sing the song and lock it in. I don’t know why it works, but it does.
I believe that transference also works with stress. Last night as I was happily drifting off to sleep, Dave told me that he was feeling anxious about his cancer. Apparently at this last blood test, his CEA level was up to 22. I did not know this. While I went with him to his last appointment, the results had not yet been posted. At some point, Dave accessed his patient information and saw it. His scan a few weeks ago was completely stable so I reminded him that information was much more useful than the blood test. With that he was able to fall asleep. Meanwhile, I lay up next to him trying to figure out the lyrics for “Fishing in the Dark” which is now completely stuck in my head. So if I sing to you later…..
xoxo (and sleepily yours),
We look forward to “Grammy Night” all week. Every Wednesday I leave to take Parker to oboe lesson and, while I am gone, two little worker bees called Grammy and PopPop arrive with groceries in hand. When Parker and I return home, there are pots bubbling on the stove and delicious smells wafting throughout the house. Mom has been cooking every Wednesday this school year. I can’t begin to describe what a gift this is. I work a full day on Wednesdays and then Parker generally has oboe or play rehearsal. Dave has chemo every other Wednesday so it really is just the perfect day to have some help. I know how lucky I am and, those of you who know my parents, also know how lucky I am. Truly.
Dave had chemo today. His oncologist stopped by during his infusion to check in and to tease him about his hair. His CEA level is up the tiniest little bit to 12.8 from 8. This really is quite small (CEAs can be in the hundreds, even thousands), and I don’t think it is cause for alarm. Lots of things can cause fluctuations, and we have been repeatedly told that it is not a great test. But when you only have access to limited information like scans and blood work, it’s easy to fixate on the numbers.
Lastly, my friend, Lexy, posted this on Facebook this morning. I think it is so spot on that I thought I would pass it along.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, but more that I have just been too lazy to bother. The silence on the blog just means that things have been steadily chugging along.
We have had some big positives in the Tremaine household though. I spent five days in beautiful and sunny Florida. Escaping the cold and spending time with my mom was a Godsend. I appreciate so much that my parents said to me about a month ago, “You need a break. Where do you want to go?” I said simply, “Somewhere with sun and water.”
There was lots of sun.
There were snacks by the pool.
There was a visit to say hi to Old Gramps and Grams.
Most of all, there was time to rest, relax and regroup.
When I got home, we opened to mail and discovered some big news for Samantha. She was accepted into the President’s Leadership Program at CNU. We are all thrilled for her. The program sounds like such an amazing opportunity and the bit of scholarship money is nice too.
And last but not least, today Dave found out his CEA (tumor marker) is down to 8. We are quietly celebrating its drop in the right direction and are so hopeful for a good scan mid-month. We are encouraged that the chemo is indeed still working. Dave had chemo this week but this was just the boost he needed to get through the yucky side effects.