Those of you who know our families know that we have an amazing support network.  Dave’s parents have been so supportive even though they live a full day’s car ride away.  They were here for both of his surgeries, paced the waiting room with me, ate bad hospital food, and did whatever they could for all of us to make life easier during those challenging times.  My parents who live twenty minutes down the parkway have been there for us in the day to day.  They have made MANY trips to the orthodontist, pediatrician, orthopedist, and dentist.  They have run errands for us, watched kids, and attended any and all kid events.

When school started back up this fall, my mom made the most generous and greatly appreciated offer.  She said she would be happy (or at least willing) to make dinner for us once a week.  We decided on Wednesdays since I work later on that day and we also tend to have evening events.  Usually I come home to a kitchen with snack dishes in the sink and general disorder.  At best I come home to a clean kitchen with an empty sink and stove.  Yesterday, my kitchen had a yummy array of food for dinner – shepherd’s pie, broccoli, a delicious salad with jicama, mandarin oranges and almonds as well as brownies and fresh fruit for dessert.  It was so nice to not have to think about dinner but to just sit down and enjoy a family meal before we rushed off to our different events.  What an incredible gift – not just the meal which we very much enjoyed, but also the gift of time.  We could enjoy a half hour of family togetherness gathered around the table.  Then Parker and Dave took Winston to puppy class, and Samantha and I went to a college event.  Dinner was the respite from the day and a chance to recharge and reconnect before we headed out again.

This morning I noticed brownie crumbs on the counter.  This is the conversation that followed between Dave and me.

Me: I can’t believe someone is eating brownies for breakfast.

Dave: Are the brownies not supposed to be eaten?

Me: No, it’s fine if they are eaten but not for breakfast.

At this point I looked over at Dave who had a plate with telltale brownie crumbs covering it which he was sliding to the side of the table.

Me: Oh.



“I Love You”

ImageBefore I write anything down, I usually let a topic ping around in my head for a day or two.  I mentally brainstorm as I am sitting in traffic or before I fall asleep at night.  Sometimes I realize that I don’t have enough to say, or that it might not be all that interesting or relevant.  The idea that I was mulling over most of Saturday was the use of the words “I love you.”  

I had a basic idea of what I wanted to convey, but Saturday night cemented it.  That night we bid farewell for now to our dear friends who are about to embark on a two year adventure on the other side of the world.  As they were leaving, Lexy gave me a hug and told me she loved me.  Maybe to her it was out of habit or rote, but I was so touched.  To me it meant “We are there for you. We are going to be thinking about you even from afar.  We care about you.”  I couldn’t help but wonder where all our lives will be when we next see each other.  That simple sentence meant the world to me now more than ever.  It solidified for me how important it is to tell people how you feel.

For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid that I will lose someone, and I won’t have told them how much they mean to me.   If you know my history, you might think that this stems back to when I was 2 1/2 and I was with my birth mother and her family one day and with a completely new family the next.  But I know this is not why.  It is because of an interaction between my grandfather and my brother which I don’t remember in person, but I know the story.  So, I have always felt that it was important to tell my family that I love them as often as possible.  It has been since Dave’s diagnosis that I have realized how necessary it is to extend this past my immediate family.  After all, I love Dave’s family, my extended family and my friends too.  I don’t take the words lightly, and I never want them to be an automatic response, but I believe that they should be said.  I know how comforted and supported it makes me feel when someone I care about tells me they love me, and I hope others feel the same way too.

I love you.